


Fading

by lilcogs



Category: Peeta Mellark - Fandom, The Hunger Games
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-08 12:51:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4305798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilcogs/pseuds/lilcogs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We've all seen how Katniss dealt with Peeta's hijacking. How did it go down for the victim himself?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is the first thing I ever wrote for The Hunger Games, so I apologize if it sounds a little newbie-ish. Ive only ever written two chapters, so it would really help if you would give your input- should I continue the story? 
> 
> Find me on Tumblr at everlark-af.

President Snow is the first thing I see when I wake. I say "thing" here, because how else can I describe him?

I want to strangle him. I want to wring his neck where he stands. I want him to die. The restraints around my wrists and ankles restrict me from doing so; besides, I need to figure out what in hell is going on.

And where the hell Katniss is.

His thin lips stretch into a serpentine smile, and I almost cringe. But I don't give him the satisfaction. Finally he speaks.

"Peeta, my boy," he says, still wearing that sadistic grin. My eyes remain on his grotesque face. I hate him with all of my being.

"I'll bet you're wondering what's going on at the moment," he continues. "Hmm?"

 I offer him a curt nod as confirmation and let him go on rambling.

"You see, after Katniss left with Johanna to uncoil that wire, a plan was executed. A plan that, regrettably and rather obliviously, passed right underneath the Capitol's nose.

"Before the Games had even begun, your mentor, Haymitch, made a deal with every single tribute and their mentor. Do you know what that agreement was?"

I realize he wants me to respond, so I shake my head.

"It was to save the girl," he explains.

I hate him. But his theory makes sense. Is that why Johanna saved Beetee and Wiress for Katniss? Or why our allies in the arena risked their lives to save ours? I hadn't understood it at first, but now it all adds up. There was one goal among the tributes, and that was to save my and Katniss's skin.

Is Snow right? I don't know. I don't know. I just want Katniss back.

He sees my reaction. "That's right, Peeta, your girl. Your poor, sweet, _stupid_ Katniss."

I can no longer stay still. I thrash against the chains that hold me while Snow just watches, amused. It fuels my anger even more. But my efforts are fruitless; Peacekeepers swarm me in a matter of seconds, and I'm still yelling obscenities when Snow waves the guards away. I'm fuming.

"Well, now that we've gotten _that_ out of our systems, let's continue, shall we?" he drawls. "As I was saying, the plan was to get the ' _Girl on Fire_ ' out of the arena safely. How would that be accomplished, you ask? Plutarch Heavensbee, of course. Yes, Plutarch. Can you believe that? I don't have very much luck when it comes to Head Gamemakers, it would seem." He lets out a forced chuckle.

"But then your precious Ms. Everdeen went and blew up the entire arena with one of her arrows. Quite a feisty one, that girl, isn't she?"

If he keeps talking I swear I will rip his head off. I try to convey this through my glare. But he goes on.

"In the chaotic aftermath, a District 13 ship-" At this he must see my confused expression because he smiles wider "-emerged and snatched up the girl. We just managed to grab you, though I must say it was a considerable feat."

He gazes at me for a while before, unfortunately, speaking up again.

"Now, what am I to do with you, Mr. Mellark?" He cocks his head and taps one slender finger to his chin.

I finally say the words I've been wanting to say since I emerged from my drug-induced slumber:

"Give me Katniss."

Snow quirks a bushy eyebrow at me. "I'm afraid I can't do that, poor boy. Did you not hear what I had to say before? Katniss is with District 13 now.

"And you're with me."

My stomach twists into a sickening knot a split second before a Peacekeeper's needle plunges into my arm.

**X-X-X-X**

This is it. This must be it. This must be what death feels like.

But no; as I regain my senses, there's a Peacekeeper. And there's another. And there's... _damn_.

Snow stands over me again, wearing his trademark simper. _He's so close. I could..._

But when I reach for his neck, I'm stopped by another set of restraints. These, though, are not like the others.

I'm in a cold, metal chair, except it reclines, and it has straps on the ankles, wrists, stomach, and, most worryingly, head.

What's going on here? My mind reels. Something sickening is about to take place, and I am to be its victim.

"Hello again, Mr. Mellark. Feeling refreshed after your little nap?" Snow speaks up.

My eyes search his face, desperate to find a clue as to what is about to happen to me. I find nothing.

He continues. "This method will continue over a course of several weeks. I will begin with an easy session; just a few minutes. Not to worry."

"What devices will you use on me? A whip? A knife?" I try to ask him in a menacing tone. I hope my voice isn't wavering quite as much as my mentality is at the moment.

Snow shakes his head. "No, no, none of that." He waves a hand at me. "Besides, _I'm_ not going to be the one hurting you."

 And then he injects me with a second needle, this time into my temple. My last thought before I drift off is one of worry, because what is going to happen to my brain?

**X-X-X-X**

_Katniss is next to me again._

Thank God _, I think to myself. We're lying in bed. I offer her a smile, and she returns it._

_"No nightmares yet?" I ask her. She simply shakes her head._

_Why is everything so distorted? I look back at Katniss, ready to ask her this same question._

_I lean closer to her so she knows I'm still here. But I can't. I can't get any nearer._

_There's a thick glass pane between us now, and I pound against it to alert Katniss of our situation._

_She looks over at me nonchalantly. How is she not frightened by all of this? I can't get to her. This is almost as bad as the arena, when she was being attacked by the jabberjays and I couldn't be there to comfort her._

_Suddenly it_ is _as bad as the arena. She's screaming and crying. She must be in the midst of a nightmare._

_Now I'm screaming too, trying to get to her. I can't. There's no way. I sob pitifully, distraught._

_"Katniss!" I shout. "Katniss! I'm right here! You're okay! I love you."_

_But she never once looks up. She doesn't even acknowledge that I've spoken. Instead she looks towards the door. Someone's here._

_Katniss reaches her arms towards the person, and it's not until they're seated on the bed next to her that I realize who it is._

_Gale._

_Katniss is still weeping, and he encircles her body with his arms._

_"Shhh..." he coddles her. "Shh... Katniss, I'm here now. I love you."_

_She begins to calm down, but I'm still yelling and banging on this unforgiving glass._

_Finally Katniss speaks the most horrifying words I have ever heard._

_"I love you, too, Gale."_

_It's all over. Finally I am still. My head hangs and I'm crying harder than ever._

_My worst fears have come true. Katniss doesn't love me. She never has, and she never will._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you guys like it so far? I wrote this a long time ago, so I haven't read it in a while. Feedback is always welcome!  
> Find me on Tumblr at everlark-af.

I jolt awake. Something is not right here.

Someone has been screaming, and that's what woke me up. I look around and cringe from the stiffness in my neck.

Snow has been holding back on me. I just know it. Besides the minimal food and bedding options, not much abuse has taken place since I got here- well, since they _took_ me. I expected a constant stream of cruelty from the Peacekeepers that wait just outside my cell door. Instead, I receive hourly rations and a thin blanket on which to lie.

And the torture. All it turned out to be was something to give me nightmares. That's all it's done. Nightmares about Katniss and-

It was me. That was _me_ screaming. Am I like Katniss now? An insomniac because of the terrors that haunt me every time I close my eyes?

Katniss. I miss her so much. Sleeping on this cold, tile floor has me longing for the warmth of her body against mine in our bed, though I hate that a Capitol train is where most of my memories with her took place.

The sound of the door to my cell unlocking is what breaks me from my daydream. It swings open, revealing President Snow himself, flanked by guards.

I rise to my feet. Snow walks into the room and glances around.

"President Snow," I say in an acidic tone. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

I realize instantly that it was a  mistake. Why did I just insult my captor, a man who is capable of unthinkable things, and who constantly reeks of blood?

I brace for the butt of a gun against my head, or maybe even Snow's fist. But nothing comes. Cautiously, I peek over at Snow. He smiles nonchalantly, if rather menacingly.

"It is a pleasure, indeed, Mr. Mellark," he responds, and I'm confused as to why I'm not being beaten. "Your presence has been requested for an interview with Caesar. You know him- Caesar Flickerman?" he finishes.

I only nod.

There's a silence in the room before Snow finally says, "Well, come on, then!" I jump to life and rush to his side.

"President Snow, sir, if I may ask," I begin in a small voice, correcting my previous actions, "what exactly is this interview for?"

He gives me a sideways smile and answers, "It's for the Districts."

When I look confused, he continues. "There's been an uprising, Peeta, and we need you to extinguish the flame."

**X-X-X-X**

 My hands fidget in my lap as the camera crew fiddles with their equipment. Caesar makes small talk, but I'm not listening.

All I can think about is how traitorous I'm about to become.

Finally everyone in the room settles. "Okay, Peeta, you remember what we told you?" a man with a large camera asks me.

I nod. "Be polite, get personal with Katniss..."

"And...?" the man prompts.

I take a deep breath. "And stop the rebellion."

The man seems satisfied with this, so he turns to his coworkers, ready to begin.

I can't stop wringing my hands. The Districts will never forgive me for this. Dear God, will _Katniss_ ever forgive me for this? I suppose it doesn't matter, anyway. It's unlikely that I'll ever see her again. Or anyone else for that matter, because if I blow this interview, they'll beat me to smithereens.

I try to collect myself as they begin the countdown.

"And... action!"

Caesar begins by addressing the crowd with a simple explanation of the segment. Then he turns to me.

"...and with me today I have the wonderful, the talented, the resilient, Peeta Mellark. How are you today, Peeta?" he asks.

"I'm good, thanks to the generosity and hospitality of the Capitol. And yourself?" I try to sound pleasant and conversational, but the fear, mixed with remorse, overpowers the talent I usually have with words.

The interview continues on like this, and I begin to feel more comfortable. Or at least the most comfortable one can feel in the Capitol.

Until the end of it. It's just one question, really. It's meant to make the most impact on the rebels.

"Is there anything you'd like to say to Katniss, if she's watching?" Caesar asks me.

I swallow hard. It's unusual as of late to hear her name come from anywhere but my own thoughts.

My voice wavers slightly as I speak. "I just want to remind you, Katniss, of what you're doing. I don't think that this, that _any_ of this, is what you ever wanted. Do you remember, before our first Games, when we..."

I stop to gather my thoughts.

"Do you remember when we..."

I trail off again. What is the matter with me?

Then it hits me. No amount of gathering my thoughts will help with this.

Snow's method of torture was much more than I thought. It doesn't just give me nightmares.

Everything that I know to be true about my early relationship with Katniss is gone. I don't remember any of it.

They're taking Katniss Everdeen away from me, piece by piece.

She's the only person in this world I'm sure I love. She's the only person I ever _will_ love.

And I'm scared to death.


End file.
